Well Meant Pride

I found myself worrying about death.  I was not concerned about the soundness of my faith, where I would spend eternity, or if my sins had truly been paid for.  It is clear that my Lord Jesus the Christ has already put these matters to rest, and they are accomplished.  The reason I fear death is because the following thought was running through my mind, “If I am gone, who will raise my boys up to be Godly men, to lead them to Christ?  And who will provide for my wife?”  What a prideful fool I have become!  To think that it is me and my efforts that will accomplish these things is vanity.  If I am here, then God the author may choose to use me as His pen to accomplish these things, but if I am gone He is still the author and can easily use another pen to accomplish the same tasks.  Pride has such an incredible ability to come into one’s life under the camouflage of good intentions!